Murder She Wrote

” You need to bury your old self and never visit the grave.”

– Unknown

I’m usually not one for violence but today I am going to commit murder. The murder of my old self. I will no longer let myself make excuses. I’am better then I’am letting myself be. I want to stop letting my life conditions dictate me and instead, give up my dead life, kill my old self that stops me from moving forward. Start having Alive time where I can constantly improve, create, learn and grow .

” “ There are two types of time in our lives. Dead time, when people are waiting and passive. And Alive time , when people are learning and acting and utilizing every second. Every moment of failure, every moment or situation that we did not deliberately choose or control, presents this choice. Alive time or Dead time.. Which will it be?

– Ryan Holiday

I have committed to stop smoking cigarettes one day at a time, today I did well I had one. I started the champion 30 day challenge. These things are good but I want more. I know real change comes with consistency and I’am willing to put in the work. There is a fire inside me that I can’t ignore anymore, a feeling of urgency to be stronger, be the best version of myself each day. It is a strange feeling that I need to physically, mentally and spiritually prepare for something. I am going to share with you something that inspired me today. It is part of a quote from Billy Alsbrooks:

” Get back up my spirit cries, fear dies, choked out by the scream. The desire to climb and live out my dream. Take it for the team , discipline reigns. I want it to bad to listen to the pain. I’m a winner to God be the glory! Tragedy setbacks an inspirational story. Warriors like me, we were strategically designed for the struggle! Many before me gave up and quit, acted all bad until the first time they got hit. Blood don’t scare me, I fear not death! Whatever it takes champion, to be the best of the best. I was made for war! I cry out to heaven, blessed an unstoppable an immortal legend.”

– Billy Alsbrooks

This quote always gives me chills, I agree with everything about it and I love it’s energy. Blood does actually scare me. ( LOL ) I don’t really love blood and bodily fluids but….Yes to the rest of it! If you want to listen to a extended version there is a motivational video that this quote is in that is beautiful.

In truth we can’t kill our old self we can only learn to ignore fear based thoughts and emotions of the egoic self, and instead be able to operate from love. It is the beast we feed that becomes stronger. I know it’s going to be uncomfortable at times and I know it’s not going to be easy. Inner work is one of the hardest things I have ever done and painful to the ego. ” In order to be the light darkness has to exist.”

We can invest in our own growth not because we want approval from people or need the validation to feel good about ourselves. Rather, we should work on ourselves for our own self. Our competition is with our own selves. The approval that we are seeking from most of the people around us will never lead us to accomplish greater things, it will only lead us to deviate from our desired goals. Hence, our approval should come from the big guy upstairs God and within ourselves. Assuring ourselves that we are evolving.

If we are waiting for the right moment to begin to change, its never going to come. There will never be a right moment, the perfect weather or the perfect opportunity to do the right thing. It’s on us to take action in the moment without waiting for the perfect time or listening to that little voice telling us that what we are doing is not worth it, our ideas are sh*t, we have too much competition, we don’t have the back ground to do it, or we will never make it.

We have to learn to tell that little B*tch to shut the hell up! The main purpose of that little voice is to distract, confuse and un motivate us. We are trying to be the best versions of ourselves and we don’t listen to that little voice anymore, she can’t live with us anymore. Lol She’s got to go!