Hey Friends! I hope this post finds you well and as always may Peace be upon you, around you and especially within you! Started per usual giving Thanks, we had coffee in the gazebo, gave Elvis his morning love and breakfast.
As everyone woke up we said buongiorno and began our days. My husband goes to work doing his champion stuff and I get to work on my champion stuff. We already know Elvis is always doing his champion lifestyle. For him it is just a way of life.
This morning was again foggy but I adore how the orange and red colors pop in the dim foggy light. Elvis and I chilled outside for a bit taking in the morning air. Then I began to stretch, meditation and Pilates.
I helped to clean up around the farm and house before taking a shower to get ready for the day. I began my work and blog related tasks, Italian class 2 hours, phone calls and all that fun jazz.
Today’s food for thought is … We don’t have to defend ourselves anymore. Usually there a a few different reasons that we get this feeling to defend ourselves . Seven out of 10 times it is because we want to be right, or we think we are right but the other person refuses to see it.
For instance we are explaining to someone how 1 + 1= 2 but for some reason they are stuck on the idea that 1+1=4. We clearly know and believe we are correct and it is beyond our comprehension that this person can not see for themselves.
We have a choice, do we get heated, try to make them see that we are right? Explain to them while bringing out a chalk board to show them over and over that 1+1=2 and how it could never equal 4? Do we allow them to disrupt our Peace?
Or do we come to realize that this person has the right to believe whatever they want for whatever reasons they have and we need to mind our own business. Wish them well and keep it movin.
At the end of the day God knows we were right and we know we were right. That’s enough. We keep our Peace going about our day’s with out giving it another thought.
Another reason we get defensive is commonly after someone voices their opinion about who they think we are or what they think we have said or done that we don’t like or agree with.
For example has someone ever told you something about yourself that you new was not true? They say ” You never do …” Or ” You Alway’s do …” or tell you that you said something that you knew with absolution you actually indeed did NOT say.
This can be inferiorating leading us to instantly want into defend ourselves right? How could they think this about us? Do they not know us at all? These kinds of questions begin to take up space in our minds.
If we can pause and ” check ourselves before we wreck ourselves.” Take a real look to see if what they are saying holds some merit. If the answer is ” Yes” Then maybe you just need to go apologize and get it done with darling.
If the answer is “No.”Well then the truth of the matter is that what they are saying has very little to do with us, and more to do with their own personal struggles they are having within themselves.
Hurt people hurt people and sometimes people project their own personal feeling for themselves onto us for no other reason then because they don’t like themselves. Defending ourselves in this kind of situation is typically not recomended.
It always tends to go badly. We feel as if our charector has been called into question but they feel valid in their feelings. It is a recipe for debacle I would not recommend getting involved in.
We shouldn’t kick people when they are already down. We need to look at them instead with understanding that they have al ot of growth to do, as we all do. Pray for them and just walk away. Keep on keepin on and being our best selves each and every day.
Last but not least the last possible reasons we would want to defend ourselves is because we want everyone to be on the same page as us. For example we show someone a apple. This apple has the perfect shape, the perfect color, the perfect firmness.
When we bite into the apple it has the perfect amount of crunch and juiciness. The taste is the perfect mixture of sweet and sour and we can’t wait for them to bite into this apple and experience the same enjoyment we did.
But instead they bit into it and they absolutely did not have the same reaction as we did. They started to complain it was too bitter, too crunchy and thus,,, they had a vastly different experience and opinion then we did.
Now in these situations instead to get defensive and say things like ” That apple is delicous and you’r just crazy! ” We can remember that their opinion of the apple doesn’t make it any less delicous for us.
It simply means they had a different experience and that is ok. We can not all have the same awesome tastes and opinions. They can have their opinion we can have ours and still be on the same page fundamentally.
Being on the same page doesn’t mean we have to have the same opinions on absolutely everything. How boring would that be if we all had the same opinions.
The root of the issue to all three of those reasons to defend ourselves comes in the form of the real questions we need to be asking ourselves which is..” Why do we need someone to see me a certain way?” …” Why do we need someone to have a certain opinion of me for me to be validated or ok? ”
” Why do we need to be the one who is right? Is being right worth more then our happiness? ” Why does someones approval and opinion about whatever we are doing matter so much?”
If we really took a deep look at ourselves and we know with out a shadow of a doubt that we are NOT what and who these people are trying to say we are then ” what is there to defend?
They are allowed to have their opinions of or about us. We all know the saying ” Opinions are like a*sholes everyone has one.” We have to except the fact that not everyone will share our opinion and that is “ok.”
” The way someone see’s us, talks about us and act’s towards us say’s more about them then it does about us.” Lord help me all these old cliche saying are really turning out to be true .
We truly no longer need to defend ourselves. even though we may love someone their opinions are not the end all of everything. It is ok to dig deep with in ourselves and find the courage to sometimes stand alone in our believes, opinions or whatever the case may be.
The point is that we do not actually need someone to have certain opinions about us to make us somehow validated and ok. We don’t need everyone at work or in life to like us and believe in us. We also do not need to defend ourselves to them in efforts to change their opinions.
Would it be nice if everyone had only good things to say about us? For sure… but that’s not the real world. We have to come to a point where we are love and appreciate ourselves no matter what anyone else says about us.
We know that we are doing our best, we know that we are showing up for ourselves and others. We know that at the end of the day God’s opinion of us matters the most. As long as we are good with him I think we will be just fine.
Thank you for joining us in our Champion Challenge! Please feel free to like comment and subscribe and until next time, Much Love Friends!